


This Used To Be A Funhouse

by Gangstertogangster



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/M, Mental Breakdown, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:48:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29192556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gangstertogangster/pseuds/Gangstertogangster
Summary: My OC, Shauna, has just discovered her husband, Anatoly, has been cheating on her with his first wife, and spending time with her and his first child.It's a lot for Shauna to process and she just has a hell of a time.Briana McLaughlin, Shauna's best friend, and Alex Sheikh, Anatoly's first wife, are IrisofParadise's original characters
Relationships: Anatoly Ranskahov/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	This Used To Be A Funhouse

**Author's Note:**

  * For [IrisofParadise](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IrisofParadise/gifts).



> I know this doesn't really feature Anatoly or any other canon characters, but this takes place in the Daredevil universe and he's the root of all the problems. 
> 
> Also Vladimir and Matt are Shauna's in-laws. So yeah.

Shauna was setting things ablaze, albeit not in a pyromaniacal way, she would quickly add. 

No, she was simply lighting matchbooks on fire on the roof of the apartment building she lived in, watching the flames grow higher like some kind of macabre Benihana spectacle. The smoke alarms went off the one time she tried it in the kitchen, and she didn’t want to get into anything with the fire department again. 

She was stuffing matchbooks into her pockets at various bodegas as if she were an edgy teenager again. But she couldn’t help it, her heart raced so magnificently whenever she made it out of a bodega just before the owner might catch on. She was missing meetings lately, and with each new slip-up, she felt flush just contemplating returning and admitting. 

The times she was caught, she simply pretended she forgot. She paid, tipped generously, flashed a big smile the owner’s way. 

“Shaunie, you gotta get it together, you can’t keep doing this shit,” Bridget informed her. 

“You’re right, it's easier at Duane Reade…” Shauna mused. 

Bridget groaned loudly and gave Shauna a cold look for that. 

“Why the fires?” Bridget asked, after a long pause. 

“It feels good to destroy something, or wreck it. Just like my husband did, except this isn’t anything like his shit.” 

Bridget nodded, trying to follow. 

Anatoly was staying in a hotel, ever since everything came to light. Because of how bad her mood was getting, Toly and Andrey were staying with their uncle and dyadya and their two cousins. She was all alone in the apartment, even though Matt and Vladimir’s place was just one floor down. 

She FaceTimed with Toly and Andrey, but the calls were tense and awkward. They kept asking when they could come home. They had tears in their eyes. Shauna did too. She would quickly say “I love you and miss you” and hang up if she felt like she was going to break down and sob. This was happening more and more. 

She blocked Anatoly’s number so he wouldn’t keep trying to call or text. She sternly reprimanded Vladimir if he tried to speak on behalf of his brother. Matt tried to focus on making dinner, or reading over documents in braille, or helping the kids with homework, should she and Vladimir start again. 

Shauna watched the flames in the aluminum cake pan on the little card table she set up. She watched them with wide, enraptured eyes as if she were seeing fireworks for the first time. She loved how they would rise higher and then drop slightly, then rise and fall again. She kept a fire extinguisher nearby in case the flames ever got a little too high for her liking. 

She’d smoke cigarettes up on the rooftop also, since the apartment was smoke free. She remembered all the times she and Anatoly would lie down on this very rooftop sharing cigarettes, back before they had kids, before they got married. They’d have a picnic blanket to lay on, he’d tell her abridged tales of his life. 

_But he never mentioned HER,_ Shauna kept thinking. 

There was so much bad Anatoly had done and she'd made peace with. God knows he wasn't perfect, she knew this when she first started dating him. He and his brother had done so much evil but the business went legit, they moved on. Shauna knew he shouldn't get off so easily but she loved him, she loved his dry humor and his Russian curses. She loved his concern and his care for their sons. Family mattered to him. So she thought. 

_Alex is prettier, fitter, has better hair and a sweeter face...Alex is probably a better mom, she’s raised a son all by herself…_

Shauna stalked Alex Sheikh’s Instagram and Facebook, looking with envy at all the pictures of her dancing and her yoga, her at her family’s restaurant, or with her son, also Anatoly’s first born. 

Shauna wasn’t surprised Alex seemed to have no photographic evidence Anatoly Ranskahov was ever in her life. Alex hadn’t known Shauna existed, so Alex claimed. And so Anatoly insisted. It wasn’t really Alex she was mad at anyway, Alex was there first, so to speak. 

But Shauna couldn’t bring herself to call or message her. She knew it was harmful to herself, but she kept scrolling through Alex’s photos and posts, tears streaming down her cheeks. 

She’d run right back up to the rooftop to light matchbooks on fire if she found herself crying too hard, which happened more and more. 

_Maybe I am a pyro after all..._ Shauna thought as she lit each new match. 

She made sure the fires were all the way put out before lighting a cigarette, and as she smoked she pictured Alex with her shiny white teeth and gleaming smile. _Alex didn’t need to fill her body with shit to feel worth something._

“ _This used to be a funhouse/But now it’s full of evil clowns_ ,” Shauna sang along with P!ink as she replayed the song _Funhouse_ over and over and over. She played the album over and over, for that matter. 

“ _It’s all your fault! You called me beautiful!”_ She’d sing along with her favorite track, the one that made her break down entirely by the song’s end. 

The landlord was getting less patient with her by the day. She therefore stopped blaring the music at full volume on the big stereo, opting to just go full volume on her iphone. 

Before she knew it, two weeks went by without her kids. Her hair smelled more and more like ash as time went on. 

She started to have nightmares about burning the whole building down, of burning alive, never getting to tell Toly and Andrey goodbye, or say one last time that she loved them. 

She began waking up in cold sweats, heart beating fast as could be. 

_I wish you could feel as bad as I do/I have lost my mind._

That was the lyric that stuck with her and flashed on and off in her mind like a bright neon sign. 

_I have lost my mind._

“I have lost my mind,” She said aloud to herself one day. 

She called her best friend over. Briana came right away, wrapping Shauna in a hug while also trying not to drop the giant bottle of wine she brought along. 

They proceeded to sit on the sofa, drinking straight out of the bottle. 

“Bri, I have lost my mind,” She informed her friend. 

“No shit,” Briana answered with a laugh. 

“I want to change,” Shauna sighed. 

“You still lighting those fires?” 

Shauna nodded, trying not to look Briana in the eye. 

“I’m enjoying it too much,” Shauna admitted. 

“Yeah and it’s deranged,” Briana pointed out. She took a swig of the bottle of wine and passed it to Shauna, who did the same. 

“Don’t need to judge me, fucking christ…” Shauna muttered. 

“We’re catholic, Shauna, it’s what we do!” Briana laughed. 

“Don’t remind me,” Shauna groaned, immediately taking another swig. 

Briana snatched back the bottle. She put it down on the coffee table, pushed it away from the both of them, held Shauna’s face in her hands. 

“Shauna. You need to get yourself together,” Briana said, staring right through her, it seemed. 

“Stuck in a moment you can’t get out of, like Bono said, right?” Shauna dryly answered. 

“He had a point,” Briana said. 

“Why does U2 have to factor into this?” Shauna giggled. 

“It just does,” Briana tossed out. She kissed her friend on the forehead. 

Shauna grinned and rested her head on her shoulder. She began to cry on Briana, who just stroked Shauna’s hair comfortingly. 

“I still miss him, and I miss my kids, I miss…” Shauna sobbed. 

“Shhhhh…” Briana responded, holding her friend tight. 

  
  



End file.
